What's that you say....That's it? I am done?

Well after nearly 7 months from diagnosis...I am done!  Now what?  And I say that literally.


11 days ago I had my last radiation treatment. I really could not believe that the "day" was finally happening.  I was full of emotion (are you surprised?)...mostly happy, sometimes scared but mainly curious.  What's next?  I've been living my life for the past 7 months, pressing ahead and looking forward to the next treatment to check of my list.  But now, there is nothing more to check off.  I am being released back into the wild.


My hubby called me as I was heading downtown to my last treatment, and asked how I was doing, if I was excited....I could NOT speak.  I felt like there was a lump the size of a grapefruit in my throat (not literally...don't worry).  He quickly said, "Can I meet you down at the treatment center - I want to come with you?"  I was able to mutter an "OK" with tears streaming down my face and in between the crying, which was close to hysteria.  Why did I not plan to have him join me earlier?  After all, it seemed only fitting - he was there at the beginning...why not at the finish line too?


I drove around the block a few times to allow my tears to dry, fix my makeup and fan my red face.  Thankfully, we pulled in at the same time to the treatment center.


I did my usual routine...he had to wait in the waiting room while I checked in, got changed and sat down and waited for my name to be called.  Of course, my buddy Herbert was waiting for me.  He seemed happy to see me, as apparently his machine had broken the day before, and he thought he had missed me.  We exchanged our usual small talk and as my name was called - I left him with a little note, just to tell him how much I appreciated seeing his smiling face everyday.  I wished him well and told him that I knew God had a plan for our lives.


As I walked into Treatment Room "A" - I delivered my little gifts of Ginger Elizabeth chocolates to my techs along with a Thank You note.  Everyday, they treated me with such care and kindness....I just wanted them to know that I appreciated them.  Upon commencing treatment (a mere minute and thirty seconds), the tears continued to flow....One of the main Tech's Mike was the first to come in....Poor guy had to deal with me, crying like a big baby.  But I am sure that I was not the first woman to be emotional during their treatment, nor will I be the last.


The few days that followed my last treatment were filled with blood draws, doctor appointments with my oncologist and plastic surgeon.  Nothing new, just normal checkups after radiation.  I am now on Tamoxifen for the next 1,817 days - about 5 years, don't worry I am not counting down.  But for now, I will see my physicians (all 3 of them) for the next 5 years.  First every 2 months, then 4 until I receive clearance to go every 6 months for a couple years.  I need to, and will be proactive about my health - anything that is "unexplained and persistent" will need to be addressed with my physicians.


My new "normal" has begun - as I said earlier, I feel like a new bird being released back into the wild....and you know what, it is a good place to be.