As I sit here tonight trying to relax....there are a hundred things on my mind tonight, things that must be done before I leave for treatment tomorrow morning. I have my list of things to finalize, things to discuss with my mom, the kids calendar to be printed with all of their activities and homework to be done, last minute notes for John. It's like getting ready to go on a trip for a week, but I am not going "anywhere" fun.
I have cherished this week and a half...that's right, the last treatment only had me down for just a few days (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday), it was great. Although I am not my "old" self - I felt much better and it was a blessing because it was a busy week. The kids were back to school, there was back to school night, 2 soccer seeding tournaments and finally, a party we purchased at last year's auction.
As I scurried around today, running last minute errands to the grocery store and such.....I could feel a bitterness rising up in me. It was not pretty. I unfortunately took it out on my husband with some not so loving words, and I am sorry. The truth is, I am not excited to go back tomorrow. I've been through it enough to know that I don't like what is coming.
I am digging deep to gear up this time...I told a dear friend tonight as we texted back and forth. There are my 3 F's getting me thru --- Faith, Family and Friends. And maybe its appropriate, because it's my 3rd treatment as well.
It's true, I would be lost without all of them/you.
We all have our moments and I can't imagine any of us would embrace this with a positive attitude all day, every day. You are handling this to the best of your ability- and I have to say, on the outside, you continue to look put together and supremely happy! xoxo
ReplyDeleteAnd for your 4th treatment, you can add "Fortitude" to your list. You now have and will ALWAYS have the strength to get through this.
ReplyDeleteHope #3 went (and is going) as well as can be expected. Thinking of you every day, Lex.
xoxo
Sweet Alexxa, Just think number 3 is under your belt now! I've been thinking of you and praying that you will be feeling yourself in no time. I am sorry to see you go through this, but am encouraged by your resilient spirit. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThinking about you Miss Alexxa. What you are going through is tremendously difficult, give yourself a break for times when you are feeling bitter or angry. You are so strong, kind, generous, loving and patient every other day of your life. Recognize it and move on...no beating yourself up! You are an amazing person and have handeled everything with such grace...I am in awe.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing great, honey!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are learning to say "all is well", regardless of circumstance!!!
The Lord will reward your FAITH as you diligently seek Him!!
All my love, Daddy!!
Hey Alexxa! You are so strong! Your words and faith help more people than you know! You look beautiful! Sending you our continud thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteLove, Julie Hagen
love you lex..
ReplyDeletexoxoxo